Nancy Zare – AlikeAbility

Nancy Zare - ALikeAbility on the Thriving Solopreneur Podcast with Janine Bolon

To Learn More about Dr. Nancy Zare, [ click here ] to visit her website or [click here ] to view her Media Kit.

Janine Bolon: This is Janine Bolon with The Thriving Solopreneur’s podcast Program. I just wanted to say thank you so much for joining us today. I know you are busy. We have a guest here who is loaded with content. She is more than happy to give you wonderful tools and tips to help you out.

Lucky for us, we have Dr. Nancy Zare, a psychologist and strategist. She works with entrepreneurs who feel awkward in starting sales conversations, following up, and handling the necessary questions, objections, all that kind of stuff, asking to get hired, all these things that we go through as solopreneurs.

She helps folks like us feel comfortable and poised and be able to sell with confidence and get new business, get new clients through the door, so basically, we can go on staying in business. She is accredited in sales training and adult learning.

And Nancy turns education basically into an edutainment – entertainment, edutainment. Her secret desire is to go racing on the Autobahn.

Be ready to laugh, think, share, and be wowed as she drives home the idea of how buyers buy and how we best can handle that through relationship marketing.

Thank you so much for being with us today, Nancy.

Nancy Zare: Oh, thank you, Janine, for inviting me. I am excited to talk with you and your audience.

Janine: Well, thank you. Great. Okay. For starters, solopreneurs kind of wear thirty five different hats on any given day. Some folks, when they first start their own business, are just kind of shell-shocked at the fact of, “Oh, wait. Now, I have to go out and get clients. Well, I just want to do my job,” right? They think, “I just want to sit on my Zoom meeting. And I just want to help people. Do not ask me to go out and sell. I do not like selling. I hate selling.”

So kind of walk us through some of the ways that we can “sell” without selling, because I know you are a professional at this.

Nancy: I am enjoying your remarks, because I was speaking earlier today with somebody who is exactly in that situation. He has been in business for a whole five or six months. He is a videographer. And he loves, of course, the activity of being a videographer.

But we both agreed that he is actually in the marketing business of videography and not in the videography business. Do you see the difference?

And that is exactly what I think you are saying those thirty-five-plus hats that people are wearing. They boil down to the fact that we have to structure our business in order to stay in doing the business that we love to do.

Janine: It helps to have the cash coming inside so that we can pay the mortgage and make sure that our kids get to college, that we can take care of the car when it breaks down. And then as solopreneurs, we also have the added thing of we also have to pay our own taxes, and we have to invest in our own ROAs, and stuff like that. As we move through all of that understanding, as if there was not enough pressure just to run your own business, you also have other things.

So talk to us a little bit about how people can go about incorporating, prospecting, selling, and relationship-marketing into their business? I love to hear your thoughts on that.

Nancy: Good. Well, first of all, I would like to suggest that selling has many definitions. And the one that I like to use is influence. And if you think of selling as influencing somebody’s behavior to take action, it is very different than perhaps the stereotype that we have of manipulating somebody, perhaps being a little sleazy or phony about our offers and what we are doing.

And my guess is that you and your audience are fed up with that kind of a person. We do not want to be that person. We do not want to interact with that person. And the good news is you do not. That today, forming a relationship, having a genuine bond and connection that you establish with another person is the best way to sell to influence people.

I just want to make that point and maybe hammer it in. We do not have to think of ourselves in that desperate mode of selling. And yet, at the same, time, Janine, as Mary Kay says, “Nothing happens in business until someone sells something.” It is important that we, of course, bring in revenues for the services we offer.

Janine: All right. We are a new solopreneur or entrepreneur. We are six months into business, and we realize that we have the one client that we thought would really be there for us. And that has disappeared. Now, we find ourselves in panic mode, because all of a sudden, what we thought was our cash cow has gone the way of the dodo.

So what are some steps a young solopreneur can take to move into that relationship-marketing aspect?

Nancy: We must always be in the business of forming relationships and never think that it is all about delivering services. In fact, about thirty, thirty five percent of the time should be invested in marketing which means developing relationships.

Now, I know Janine and I have a very special way that we love to work with people and to develop that relationship. And that is by sending cards. It turns out the cards have one-hundred-percent open rate.

And so if you are looking to stay top of mind, make a good impression, be outstanding, then this is a tool that I highly recommend for my clients. It is a tool for starting conversations, for following up, and for, like I say, continuing to build that relationship.

Janine: One of the things that I love most about being able to use direct-mail marketing is the fact that it is an easy form of follow-up. It is not invasive. My email is not getting lost in the piles of emails that people have to sort through. And I am not calling people on the phone as much as I used to. It is a lot more fun for me to be able to send cards.

So no matter what service you use, I highly encourage you, as soon as possible, to start thinking about direct-mail options. And Nancy would be happy to chat with you about that, because she has this amazing book called Compelling Selling. And it is not what you think. She said – I have to reiterate – definitely not the sleazy and trying to get somebody to buy something that is not in their highest and best good.

Most of the solopreneurs who are listening to this show actually have pretty big hearts. They are very generous people. And you would never want a client that is not going to be best served by your affiliation with them.

And so moving forward with that book, talk to us a little bit about why? Why did you write the book? What is going on with you that you decided to write this amazing book called Compelling Selling?

Nancy: Well, I realized some time ago, Janine, that one of the most effective ways to build relationships is based on the Platinum Rule. Now, I am sure that you and others are familiar with the Golden Rule, “Treat other people the way I want to be treated,” which is a very humane approach.

The Platinum Rule which is a book, by the way. Tony Alessandra is the author. When I read that book, it totally aligned with my values, because the Platinum Rule is, “Treat others the way they want to be treated.” And when I put myself in the shoes of the other person and I communicate using the kinds of words, values, the things that are important to them, there are some amazing benefits that take place.

One, the individual relaxes and gets comfortable, because they say to themselves, “Wow, you get me. We are alike.” Secondly, sales resistance – we all have sales resistance – falls away, because you are not trying to sell them. People do not want to be sold, but they do like to buy. Instead, you are having a conversation in developing a relationship. And that allows trust to build. And people do business with people they know, like, and trust.

So the Platinum Rule, “Treat others the way they want to be treated,” to me, that is the secret sauce for how to develop relationships quickly and authentically.

Janine: We hear that a lot, “Be your authentic self. Be your authentic self.” And there are times when I woke up at two-thirty in the morning with a cold sweat, because I had no idea where the next contract was going to come from and all that and if I were going to be perfectly authentic when I was calling my prospects trying to get revenue brought into my company. It was basically, “Send me money. I want to make sure I can pay the mortgage,” or something along those lines, if I were going to be truly authentic.

Talk to us a little bit about when you are prospecting, and you are on the phone with people, and you know you need cash. They know you need cash. But you want to make sure you are in harmony with each other on that. How do you go about doing that without coming off as one needy, scrapping for the last available dollar? How do you go about doing that with people?

Nancy: It turns out, Janine, that people come in four flavors. I am sure some of your listeners are familiar with DISC or Myers-Briggs. It turns out there are two hundred different personality systems including birds, dogs, fish, objects, colors.

I happen to subscribe to the understanding that there are four different personality styles. And these are people that make buying decisions and have values that are quite different from one another. And what I help my clients to do is understand those differences and then to speak the language of the prospect.

So in the situation that you just described where, “I really am looking for the sale, because my family depends upon it,” again, you need to know to whom you are speaking. I label these buyers, by the way, or these decision-makers two, four, six, and eight. And those numbers represent the number of contacts needed for somebody to make a buying decision.

Obviously, the number two buyers are very fast. They need only one or two contacts. Whereas, the number eight buyers are obviously much slower.

If you are talking with somebody who wants relationships, you can be very transparent. This is your number four buyer, very transparent. If they feel the connection and they feel the bond, they may go ahead and make that purchase, because truly, they care for you and want to see you thrive.

So it depends on to whom you are speaking. You would not say that to the number two buyer, because they could care less. The number six buyer would find that an invasion of privacy to hear anything about your personal situation. And the number eight buyer is way too logical and way too methodical to go down that path. So it matters to whom you are speaking.

Janine: I agree with that. I think one of the things that you and I both share with our communities is that it is best to get out ahead of it. Before that wonderful cash cow leaves, you need to be marketing every day. Or, at least, set aside two to three hours a week where all you are doing is getting on the phone and connecting with people that you have not connected with for a long time.

You need to be chatting it up with a client that maybe you helped out three years ago whom you have not talked since then. Just chat with them. Say, “Hey, what is going on? I see you survived 2020. How is life?” Just find out what is happening.

In those kinds of things, when we really focus instead of waiting until you are in dire straits to start marketing [laughter], as we reach out and get out ahead of it, what are some ways to break the ice? I mean I have my scripts. I know what I do when I want to break the ice with somebody and get to know them a little bit better. But what do you recommend in your books and with your clients on how to get on the phone or how to start messaging somebody to re-establish a connection that has gone from very hot to warm or you are feeling tepid [laughter]?

Nancy: I appreciate where you are coming from. And, again, it goes back to what I just said about understanding to whom you are speaking. Because if you are speaking to the number two person, that person is very fast. They are very transactional. They are not about relationships, particularly. And with that person, you can actually just get on the phone and say, “Hey, you know, I have this amazing opportunity. Would you like to join me?” And guess what? They may just say yes without any more details.

Whereas, again, that number four person is much more of a heart-to-heart which is going to pair up very nicely with the majority of your listening audience. With this person, you just really want to– I am going to use the word schmooze. You want to have a conversation that is much more personal.

Hence, that question of, “How are things going for you?” I mean, “Really, tell me honestly, how did last year go? And where are you at now? And how is this affecting your family or your business,” or whatever. Because this person wants to share and connect in that heart space.

With the number six buyer, it is a lot more formal. And with this case, you really kind of want to ask in a more general way, “How are things going? What are your current challenges?” And keep it on a kind of much more– I am going to use the word kind of superficial or business plan. I do not mean superficial in a negative way. But you do not want to get into a deep personal conversation with that number six buyer.

And the number eight person, honestly, chit-chat drives them nuts. You really do not want to do chit-chat with the number eight. But you do want to find out, “Hey, what are your latest thoughts on…?” Notice I used the words “thoughts on”, because this is a thinker. This is a reader. This is a person who is constantly absorbing new information. And you might actually ask them, “Hey, something just new came out. And I was wondering if you have already done your homework on it?” Because there is a good chance they have.

Janine: Yes. They spend time self-educating.

One of the things that I absolutely love about the direct-mail program, whether you send out cards or whatever kind of program, is that you are doing all those connection points, and you are not having to actively be on the phone. But you do need to make sure that you are sending cards; you are using follow-up with people.

Okay. So I am a solopreneur. And I really want to expand my business. And I really want to get better at what I do as far as conversations. My cash flow is starting to stabilize for me. So I am wanting to move to the next level. How can a Dr. Nancy Zare type person be able to help me expand?

Nancy: It is about identifying style even before you do any prospecting. One of the things I teach my clients is how to go on social media. Look somebody up on LinkedIn, Facebook, their website. And identify the style based upon their posts, their photos, and that sort of thing, what platforms they use.

So, again, if you are expanding and you want to upscale your business that way, one of the things to do is to take the social media that you are already connected with, the tools that you already know. And begin to apply identifying which of those people are going to make good prospects for your business.

And, again, it is about developing a relationship. One of the things I dislike the most is when somebody reaches out to friend me or to have become a link on LinkedIn. And then the immediate message that follows is, “Well, I think I could help you with XYZ situation.”

They do not know that I even have a need. And one of the things that you have to do in sales is you have to establish that a person actually has a need or desire for your service or product and not assume that because they are in a particular demographic category or they have a particular kind of business that that automatically qualifies them. It does not.

Janine: I think we have all experienced that where we connect with somebody, because we look at their profile. And we are like, “Oh, yes. That is somebody that I think I could collaborate with.”

Kind of my attitude is like I have four podcast programs. I got all these online events that I run and stuff. And I am like, “I am always looking for collaborators.” And one of the things that happen is I am trying to collaborate with them. And here they are selling me and selling hard. And I am like, “Whoa. That went out with the 1950s and when the 1960s happened.” Yes. We are kind of done with that, and people are still catching up to that.

Okay. You have got YouTube videos. You have all kinds of stuff that people can kind of get to know you a little bit better. What do you recommend to somebody who wants to learn a little bit more about you? Of course, buy your book. I highly recommend it. It is a very good read. It is very well thought out, easy to follow. But how else can somebody get to know you a little bit better?

Nancy: Well, obviously, I am on all the social media platforms. So come and say hi. And let me know that we met through Janine’s podcast, because I will wrap my arms around you, so to speak, assuming that that is the right style, okay? So those of you who are the six and eight, I promise I will not assault you physically.

But for those of you who are warm and want to connect that way, yes. I do not bite. We can have a great conversation. And just like Janine, I am known for being a great connector. I love to help people meet other people that can help them with their own business and help them go forward. So say hi, because you never know what goodies await with each person.

Janine: Yes. It is really true, because there are so many times where I was thinking that I could help someone else. And what ended up happening was we did a collaborative project. And we were able to totally, synergistically expand both of our outreach to such a point that it was brilliant.

Yes. Go ahead, and give Dr. Nancy Zare the opportunity to just chat with you, because I promise she will not bite. Oh, and she is like me. We both detest being stuffed into a funnel and then being sold to. I promise you she will not do that. If you sign up for something free from her or you connect with her, you are not going to be slapped into some sort of a machine that you cannot get out of. I do not know. Am I the only one that feels like I get thrown into a rubber room [laughter], and I get sucked into a funnel?

Nancy: Yes. No. I do not like that either. And I was just thinking that if any of your listeners are on Facebook, I have a free Facebook group, a private group, called Relationship Builderz. Surprise. Surprise. It ends in a Z, by the way, the Builderz because of Zare, so Relationship Builderz for Sales Success. It is all about creating relationships.

I like to interview members of my group and highlight them to one another and encourage people to do business with each other within the group. That might be an excellent opportunity for some of your listeners both to get to know me as well as to benefit from, again, the resources that I offer.

Janine: Yes, most definitely. I highly recommend that people get into as many different communities as you can, because not only can you support them, but they will reach around and support you. Definitely, check out the Facebook group.

Well, Nancy, anything else you want to share with people that we have not covered? Because there is a million and one things you and I could talk about for hours. But what would you like to share with us today before we go?

Nancy: The most important thing I want to share – and it comes deep from my heart – is that we tell ourselves stories. Now, there are stories that can empower you. And there are stories that unfortunately can pull you down. What story are you telling yourself? And every day we wake up, we have a chance to tell a new story. You do not have to be held to the story you told yesterday or the day before.

So I urge you today and tomorrow and going forward to tell yourself empowering, uplifting stories, stories that feature you going forward with confidence, with poise, with an open heart to help the people of this world. And let your gifts shine. Tell a better story.

Janine: Dr. Nancy Zare, a psychologist and strategist especially catering to entrepreneurs who feel a little awkward starting sales conversations. Thank you very much for your time today, Dr. Zare. I hope you have a fabulous 2021.

Nancy: As you, Janine, and to all the listeners to your sales success.

Janine: And this is Janine Bolon with The Thriving Solopreneur, a podcast show. Do stay tuned. We post every Friday. We have a new guest. And if you like one of my guests, please let me know so that I can have them back on. These people have a lot of excellent tips between their ears. They carry it around with them. And sometimes, they just have so much there, they forget to tell us unless we ask the right questions.

So definitely, reach out to us. And stay strong. Stay steady. And keep working your business. America is stronger having you working your business than giving up.

Thank you very much for your time today. See you next Friday.